Taking Time for Granted

The last picture we were together.

The last picture we were together.

My mom’s Birthday was on January 2nd. She would have been 67. She passed away 5 years ago (from last October) of pancreatic cancer. She had been sick for about a year not realizing the sickness that was consuming her. As a NICU nurse you would think she would have seen the signs earlier. She had tried to figure out the unexplained vertigo and went to countless doctors and specialists. She had started losing weight but didn’t think much of the amount as she was also intentionally trying to be healthier. In hindsight there were many signs that she was indeed sick but no one thought to get everything checked. Finally when she turned yellow she went to the ER. That night we were told she had a mass on her pancreas that was blocking the pathway to her liver causing it to not function properly (hence the jaundice). 

I was in shock. It took me a while to actually believe that she was sick and on the verge of death. I was so in shock, I couldn’t even cry right away. I was mad at the same time. Why would she get sick? Was it because she didn’t take very great care of herself? Or because she chose to take care of everyone else and neglect herself? 

There were so many questions and not a lot of answers. The doctors told us we had at least 3 -6 months. Think of that, being told you have 3-6 months to live? To do all the things you haven’t done yet. To go places you haven’t been or to learn something you’ve been meaning to? Well it’s absolutely overwhelming. 

Backing up a bit, this year, 2012, was my parents 25 wedding anniversary and they had planned a trip for our family to go to Hawaii. We learned of the cancer about 2 weeks before hand and my mom was insistent that we continue our trip and make it a last hurrah! Hawaii started out great and it ended with her in the ICU for, I can’t remember how many days, and her her barely able to make home on flight because of how weak she was. 

From when we were told she was sick to when she passed away was just over a month. You always think you will have enough time for the people you want to spend time with. Or that there will be time LATER. For you to do the things you want to do. Or you keep putting things off you want to do or you keep NOT spending time with those you want to spend time with. This is my call to you to slow down and TAKE THE TIME. You never know when it will be limited and you never know when you won’t have it. 

Please take the time for the things you want to do and more importantly for the people you want to spend life with.

Katrina Wilson